Wish I was her.

When someone compared you with someone near you, telling you she/he is better than you. That's fine. But when it's almost everyone said that, what would you feel? I am feeling like I can't be good enough for everyone.

They compared me with a very great girl. She's almost perfect. She's my elder sister. She just does everything right. Everyone prefers her than me, including my little siblings. I know, she's excellent in eveything. Especially in taking care of my little ones.

Now, she's not always here. In other words, I rule my little ones. My responsibility is bigger. I thought taking care of little ones are easy. But all by myself? It isnt easy at all. Especially when they dont feel as happy as when they were with my elder sister. I tried to be like her, I tried my best to act as mattured as I could. But nothing happened. They still dont feel as happy as they were.

When it comes to comparing, well lots of people compared me with her already. As always, she's the good side. But when it comes to that little girl you tried your best to take care of her compared you with her, it feels like shit. It doesnt feel good. It feels like you're the worst person in the whole wide world. Fyi, little kids speak the truth.

Wonder why I cant be like her? I am sorry, kids. I love you guys more than anything in this world. I just dont have the ability to show you guys yet. I will, I just need time.